Ladies It's Tantra Time

Posted on 31 Mar 2014


Tantric massage for women

In my previous blog I said that whilst everyone "knows how to have sex" far fewer know "how to make love" and I thought I would share some thoughts with you about how few women book a Tantric massage for themselves and when they do so, should they choose a male masseur or a female masseuse.

There are about 50 Tantric massage practices in London staffed exclusively by female masseuse (or so called "goddesses") with some having several studios so I would guess they each average 10 male massages a day which makes say 500 per week. Some of these studios offer couples massages or Yoni massage for ladies (and I don't mean the so called Yoni extra whereby male customers are permitted to touch the female masseuse genitalia!) but I doubt across all studios there would be more than one or two a week. There are may be three or four male masseurs offering Yoni massage for women and very much on a part-time basis, so I would guess perhaps there might be no more than ten ladies having that kind of massage each week. A huge imbalance!

Its not as if women do not have time for or enjoy having a massage given the number of spas in London (some of which are ladies only), it is just that somehow a woman going that little bit further and having a Tantric massage is a step to far. From experience, when I have had couples come to me for a massage, I suspect it is usually at the instigation of the man and whilst it is ok for me, a female masseuse to touch his partner intimately in front of him as well as vice versa, I don't think he would accept a male masseur.

I feel that the failure of women to properly explore their sexuality is a great shame, for whilst many may have and have had very enjoyable sex lives with their partners, many women do not due to a combination of inexperience from their partner(s) and lack of self knowledge to know what really turns them on. One is taught sex education at school from the reproductive angle and dangers of transmitted diseases but nothing on how to make it pleasurable. Sex as a teenager with the hormones racing may make up for poor technique but once the testosterone drops, particularly after pregnancy, then much more skill is required to achieve or approach the female orgasm, and there are many non celibate women who go through there entire lives never experiencing an orgasm. Somehow it is alright for men but not women to explore their sexuality, which seems a paradox given that it is much easier and quicker for men to reach orgasm than women. This culture needs to be broken down, particularly in the UK) so that women do not feel inhibited from having a Tantric massage.

Well you have decided to give it a try and book. Should you book a masseur or a masseuse?
Modern society seems to condition women to only being seen or touched unclothed by another female, or if it is by a man, then with the offer of a chaperone. This also means that now far fewer men work as masseurs in spas and health clubs. Once upon a time your doctor or consultant was nearly always male, so women were conditioned to being seen naked by a man much more than they are today in the UK. (Other counties such as Germany, Austria and Scandinavia, nudity appears to be much less of an issue).

There is therefore an argument that says at least for your first time, that if you have any inhibitions about being naked in front of a strange man, you must have a female massage you because key to a successful sensual massage is complete relaxation.

Next there is the debate as to whether only a woman can truly understand how the female erogenous zones can be stimulated which has to be in mind and body coupled with the flow of energy from the giver to the receiver of the Tantric massage. Some say that only a man can truly stimulated a woman with his sexual energy, but then that begs the question as to whether this can happen without the man being in a fully aroused state which some women would find very threatening given their vulnerability. Then there is the question should the masseur like his masseuse counterpart be fully naked for the massage. Does the female client need to feel and touch the male genitalia of the masseur in the same way as the male client often feels and sometimes tries to touch the breasts and genitalia of the masseuse in order to maximise orgasm, though in my view the passive client is the client who maximises the energy flows to achieve controlled and heightened orgasm.

Although I have extensive experience of providing Tantric massages in London for men and to a much lesser extent to women (simply because so few women book a Tantric massage session) I must confess that whilst I have had a couple of massages from female masseuses, I have had one from a male masseur, because there are so few practitioners, and it did not live up to my expectation. So ladies, I may be biased but I think you will have a better experience from a female masseuse, but if you have come across a male masseur with that "golden touch" please let me know.